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FAQ

Do military members have to pay any fee for leave or fiancee forms?
NOOOOOOO. You are talking to a military romance scammer. I received an email from the US Army that directly answers your question that is pasted below please keep reading.I believe you are the victim of a military Romance Scam whereas the person you are talking to is a foreign national posing as an American Soldier claiming to be stationed overseas on a peacekeeping mission. That's the key to the scam they always claim to be on a peacekeeping mission.Part of their scam is saying that they have no access to their money that their mission is highly dangerous.If your boyfriend girlfriend/future husband/wife is asking you to do the following or has exhibited this behavior, it is a most likely a scam:Moves to private messaging site immediately after meeting you on Facebook or SnapChat or Instagram or some dating or social media site. Often times they delete the site you met them on right after they asked you to move to a more private messaging siteProfesses love to you very quickly & seems to quote poems and song lyrics along with using their own sort of broken language, as they profess their love and devotion quickly. They also showed concern for your health and love for your family.Promises marriage as soon as he/she gets to state for leave that they asked you to pay for.They Requests money (wire transfers) and Amazon, iTune ,Verizon, etc gift cards, for medicine, religious practices, and leaves to come home, internet access, complete job assignments, help sick friend, get him out of trouble, or anything that sounds fishy.The military does prall the soldier needs including food medical Care and transportation for leave. Trust me, I lived it, you are probably being scammed. I am just trying to show you examples that you are most likely being connned.Below is an email response I received after I sent an inquiry to the US government when I discovered I was scammed. I received this wonderful response back with lots of useful links on how to find and report your scammer. And how to learn more about Romance Scams.Right now you can also copy the picture he gave you and do a google image search and you will hopefully see the pictures of the real person he is impersonating. this doesn't always work and take some digging. if you find the real person you can direct message them and alert them that their image is being used for scamming.Good Luck to you and I'm sorry this may be happening to you. please continue reading the government response I received below it's very informative.   You have contacted an email that is monitored by the U.S. Army Criminal Investigation Command. Unfortunately, this is a common concern. We assure you there is never any reason to send money to anyone claiming to be a Soldier online. If you have only spoken with this person online, it is likely they are not a U.S. Soldier at all. If this is a suspected imposter social media profile, we urge you to report it to that platform as soon as possible. Please continue reading for more resources and answers to other frequently asked questions:  How to report an imposter Facebook profile: Caution-https://www.facebook.com/help/16... Caution-https://www.facebook.com/help/16...   Answers to frequently asked questions:  - Soldiers and their loved ones are not charged money so that the Soldier can go on leave.  - Soldiers are not charged money for secure communications or leave.  - Soldiers do not need permission to get married.  - Soldiers emails are in this format: john.doe.mil@mail.mil Caution-mailto: john.doe.mil@mail.mil anything ending in .us or .com is not an official email account.  - Soldiers have medical insurance, which pays for their medical costs when treated at civilian health care facilities worldwide ‡ family and friends do not need to pay their medical expenses.  - Military aircraft are not used to transport Privately Owned Vehicles.  - Army financial offices are not used to help Soldiers buy or sell items of any kind.  - Soldiers deployed to Combat Zones do not need to solicit money from the public to feed or house themselves or their troops.  - Deployed Soldiers do not find large unclaimed sums of money and need your help to get that money out of the country.  Anyone who tells you one of the above-listed conditions/circumstances is true is likely posing as a Soldier and trying to steal money from you.  We would urge you to immediately cease all contact with this individual.  For more information on avoiding online scams and to report this crime, please see the following sites and articles:   This article may help clarify some of the tricks social media scammers try to use to take advantage of people: Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/61432/ Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/61432/   CID advises vigilance against 'romance scams,' scammers impersonating Soldiers  Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/180749 Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/180749   FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center: Caution-http://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx Caution-http://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx   U.S. Army investigators warn public against romance scams: Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/130... Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/130...   DOD warns troops, families to be cybercrime smart -Caution-http://www.army.mil/article/1450... Caution-http://www.army.mil/article/1450...   Use caution with social networking  Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/146... Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/146...    Please see our frequently asked questions section under scams and legal issues. Caution-http://www.army.mil/faq/ Caution-http://www.army.mil/faq/ or visit Caution-http://www.cid.army.mil/ Caution-http://www.cid.army.mil/ .  The challenge with most scams is determining if an individual is a legitimate member of the US Army. Based on the Privacy Act of 1974, we cannot prthis information. If concerned about a scam you may contact the Better Business Bureau (if it involves a solicitation for money), or local law enforcement. If you're involved in a Facebook or dating site scam, you are free to contact us direct, (571) 305-4056.   If you have a social security number, you can find information about Soldiers online at Caution-https://www.dmdc.osd.mil/appj/sc... Caution-https://www.dmdc.osd.mil/appj/sc... . While this is a free search, it does not help you locate a retiree, but it can tell you if the Soldier is active duty or not.  If more information is needed such as current duty station or location, you can contact the Commander Soldier's Records Data Center (SRDC) by phone or mail and they will help you locate individuals on active duty only, not retirees. There is a fee of $3.50 for businesses to use this service. The check or money order must be made out to the U.S. Treasury. It is not refundable. The address is:  Commander Soldier's Records Data Center (SRDC) 8899 East 56th Street Indianapolis, IN 46249-5301 Phone: 1-866-771-6357  In addition, it is not possible to remove social networking site profiles without legitimate proof of identity theft or a scam. If you suspect fraud on this site, take a screenshot of any advances for money or impersonations and report the account on the social networking platform immediately.  Please submit all information you have on this incident to Caution-www.ic3.gov Caution-http://www.ic3.gov (FBI website, Internet Criminal Complaint Center), immediately stop contact with the scammer (you are potentially providing them more information which can be used to scam you), and learn how to protect yourself against these scams at Caution-http://www.ftc.gov Caution-http://www.ftc.gov (Federal Trade Commission's website)
Should the military retirement pay received by military former spouses be subject to garnishment to pay child support owed to service members by the former spouse?
Your question is “Should the military retirement pay received by military former spouses be subject to garnishment to pay child support owed to service members by the former spouse?” The short answer is yes. If you want to know why, keep reading.If your question is a practical one, whether military retirement pay can be garnished to pay court-ordered child support payable by the retirement service member to the other parent, the short answer is yes, it can be garnished.If, however, your question is a public policy question, which is whether military retirement pay should continue to be garnishable to satisfy a child support obligation of the retired service member or instead made immune from garnishment ‡ which would take an act of Congress ‡ my opinion is that Congress should not change the current law.(When it comes to public policy questions, we’re all really just talking about our opinions, even if some opinions are well supported with facts and arguments while others aren’t.)Why should the law remain unchanged? If someone has a court-ordered obligation to support his or her children, that person needs to comply with that obligation. If that person fails to pay court-ordered child support, there is no principled reason to insulate military retirement pay from being garnishable or otherwise subject to enforcement by the child support creditor. None. Military retirement is not more sacrosanct than non-military pensions or current wages or interest or dividend income, and all those other income streams are subject to garnishment for child support.
How can I get a division of community property, specifically military retirement pay for a former spouse from an ex who has remarried and moved to another state without having money for an attorney?
While I’m not an attorney, I’m married to retired 1st Sgt of the US Marine Corps whose former spouse receives a portion of his military retirement/retainer pay (MRP). As such, I’ll answer based on my knowledge of the Uniformed Service Former Spouse Protection Act (USFSPA).Under USFSPA, a former spouse (FS) is entitled to a portion of a service member’s (SM) retirement pay regardless of the length of the marriage. For a FS to receive payments directly from the Defense Finance & Accounting Services vs from the SM, the couple must have a minimum 10 years of marriage with 10 years overlapping creditable service by the SM (i.e., the 10/10 rule). FS’s who were married to a SM for 20 years or more, with at least 20 years of overlapping creditable service by the SM, are entitled to the SM’s MRP, as well as lifetime healthcare coverage, base & commissary access.Entitlement by a FS to a SM’s MRP must be awarded by a court of proper jurisdiction. Without jurisdiction over the SM’s MRP, the SM’s MRP is not & cannot be considered divisible property. As such, if the FS in question has a final divorce decree/marriage settlement agreement that has already been accepted by the Court & signed by all relevant parties & does not include proper language required by DFAS that: A) Indicates the Court where the divorce was filed has properly obtained jurisdiction (i.e., the right to divide the SM’s MRP) & B) Awards the FS a portion of the SM’s MRP, not to exceed 50%, then the FS has no entitlement to a SM’s MRP.The only chance the FS has at obtaining any entitlement to the SM’s MRP, is to appeal the final/approved/signed divorce decree/marriage settlement agreement. Amending, or contesting a final divorce decree is nothing short of an uphill battle & demands the knowledge & expertise of a seasoned family law attorney who is well in matters surrounding the USFSPA. Unless the FS was forced to sign the final decree under duress (as in gun to their head, duress), without a good attorney & a hefty chunk of change to pay for said attorney, it’s unlikely a Judge will allow for any amendment to the existing final decree.Let us know what happens. Thanks?
How do you fill all of that extra time in retirement if you have only enough money to pay your bills?
If you only have just enough money to pay bills in retirement, that’s not a big problem.Lots of senior discounts and freebies.If you don’t have a car or can’t drive, there might be convenient mass transportation with senior discount (sometimes even free), and some larger cities can offer free senior transportation also.Even travel has senior discounts, so you can save up for a trip.And there’s alway free activities in many places and public access to libraries and museums. Also with senior discounts.And there’s nothing wrong with just staying home. You can read and watch tv, or be productive and pursue hobbies, like writing, drawing, painting, etc, which you could make some money from.And then you can always do a little work, like housesitting, babysitting, watching kids or pets, tutoring, etc.It’s your retirement, you decide what you want to do with it.
Can a local court order an out-of-state, ex-spouse to pay spousal support?
In the US, anyway (which the phrase "out-of-state" implies is the intended context):Yes it can, though that of course depends on the facts. Ordinarily, the court that effected the dissolution retains jurisdiction. A support order issued by a court with jurisdiction will ordinarily be enforced in another state, subject to some procedural niceties.If you want to know whether a *particular* order is enforceable in a *particular* jurisdiction, you need to show it to a lawyer and give him the whole story.
Do you regret your marriage, and why?
Yes and i regret that a lot, every single day i wake up, this is the first thing on my mind…worst part is that i am trapped in this marriage because of the female centric laws in my county.I am a 31 yr old guy working with in a PSU. Two years back i married this beautiful girl from my hometown who was working in the IT industry. Her father is a very powerful bureaucrat while my father is a retired govt. officer.There were differences in family values and upbringing in our families, but due to the pressure of my family i gave in and yes now i realise that was the biggest mistake of my life and one that cant be undone now.Since the girls family is extremely affluent, the marriage was a lavish affair, though there were no dowry asked as i had already purchased every thing already well before my marriage.2 months into our marriage, we went for a lavish honeymoon in Europe which costed me a bomb, but since i like travelling and my father gave me 4 Lakhs for same, i was happy about the whole thing.In Europe on day 1 only, my purse was stolen which was having all debit/credit cards and i was left at the mercy of my wife’s debit cards. This was the first time i saw a different kind of attitude in her eyes on matters of money. Eventually, we swiped around Rs. 22K from her ATM. Later i could use online banking to transfer money from my account into hers and we swiped around Rs.60K from her ATM after i transferred the same from my account into hers. All other expenses like hotel/flights/Eurail etc i had already taken care while in India, so we enjoyed a lot..Life was all rosy then barring her occasional mood swings.My parents lived in a different city so they used to come to visit us every 3–4 months. During one such visit, my wife (lets call her A) fought with me asking me to break all my relations from my mother. I was stunned at the suddenness of it and told her that this is not happening and both of you would have to live together. Till then ( and even today) she has had no confrontation with my mom, directly or indirectly. It was during this fight only, she told me that they have video proof against my mother accepting dowry from her parents. I was totally unaware of this.when i inquired about the same from my mother, i came to know that the payment for venue/ catering etc was done by my mother and they had given that amount to my mother in their house as her mother feared carrying all that money by her own. ( Now, it may sound unbelievable at first, but now that i have come to understand my sadist and manipulative MIL, i know it was easy for her to dupe may parents in all her flowery language and they made a video of it).I fail to understand who makes such videos even before a marriage is yet to start….Anyhow, we moved ahead after that fight…with each passing day i realised that my wife and all her family especially my MIL are extremely money centric and the only thing important in their lives is how many FDs, RDs, bonds and shares etc they have. I was earning three times my wife but was made to feel a lowborn before her as she was saving almost her entire salary and i was saving a very little part. This was because i was taking care of my retired parents, my younger brother’s studies and our own household expenses in addition to gifting jewelry etc to my wife on every possible occasion while she continued to live like as if it was only my responsibility to take care of all expenses. I never asked for any part of her salary and her love for money which borders crazyness, made sure that i didnt.To be fair, i also think that you should save nicely and spend wisely, but only saving at the cost of basic life’s necessities is something i cant swallow.As if this was not enough, she began pestering me to purchase a house in our city. We searched for six months for a decent house, but buying a house in a city as costly as ours, even after i had decided to take loan from my company and additional second charge loan from a bank, was becoming difficult. So after six months i gave up and said lets look for a house in Noida. The next day my MIL calls me saying that she can pitch in around 15L on a returnable loan basis, but i should buy a house in our city only. I resisted the same, but finally after a lot of persuasion i agreed. ( i was taunted that i had no intention of buying house in this city, in the first place and all the while i was looking for a house in Noida as it was nearer to my hometown) . To be fair again, since this was a returnable loan and they are multi millionaires, i had no major issue.Finally we bought a house and this is the second mistake that i have done, as i had to take a loan worth almost Rs. 70L besides loan from my inlaws. Further, due to this loan i am now a captive of my company, as i can not leave my company before repaying this loan.Anyhow, she also switched 2 companies and was now getting a good pay package and we were doing fine considering that she was paying 15K as partial EMI of one of my loans. This we had agreed before.While all this was happening, we were trying for a baby all along but pregnancy was not happening. Both of us got tested and were medically fit, but still pregnancy was not happening. The doctors advised her not to take undue stress, as it was not even two years into our marriage and both of us were perfectly fine, but she used to cry day in and day out for the same and i used to be her anchor support during all her mood swings/depressions arising out of this issue.My parents were also supportive but somehow my MIL was not at all supportive of her own daughter. She used to go to some pandit, tantrik, baba kinds for the same and used to give her a lot of stress on this topic. I was not particularly comfortable discussing all this with my MIL and told her many a times to ask MIL to relax and give time. Once i came to know, that my MIL has told my mother that the doctors had detected some problem in me in this context, but after my wife gave me some home made medicine on her mother’s advice, i became healthy in just one month….I was shocked to the core and confronted my wife who flatly refused but later told me that her mother had some misunderstandings, so she said like this…..I was like what bullshit is this????Anyways, all the fights we had all these two years were mostly about money, that why i am not saving, why i am spending money on my younger brother, why may parents cant manage in their pensions etc….I tried to make her understand my view point but she never listened. And the frequency of these fights was like every 4–5 days and lasting for like 2–3 days during which she used to give me silent treatments.The recent thaw in our relations came when i got transferred to a different location. Coincidentally, my brothers bachelors also completed in April and now he has to go for job. It is very much obvious that my brother would either stay in his current city or go to some metro for a job, but she was getting increasingly nervous that my brother might come to the new location with us. So, she started saying nice things me to me for days at length regarding we should something about my brother and blah blah…Then one fine day her mother calls me and discusses with me about how we are being irresponsible for my brother and that we should open some kind of a small shop for him in our hometown so that he can sustain his living…i was like why is she talking about him in this manner and what problem do they have with him…but i didnt say anything to her.Next my wife tells me that she is not going to my new location, if my brother is coming there….i was again shocked…my brother was anyways not coming to the new city but how can her mother decide that?So she picks up this fight with me and silent treatment starts again‡ In between i went to my hometown for a friends marriage and her mother gives me call asking what have we decided about my brother…i curtly told her that we will see..she yells at me that i would have to tell her because it affects her daughters life also….i am like why are they behaving in such a mad manner.Exactly 15 minutes after this call, i get another call from my wife saying that my younger brother has asked her to leave our house….i was getting mad by this point, so i call up my brother to ask what happened. He told me that my wife came out of her room suddenly and started shouting on him that he is living on her husband’s money and he needs to packup and leave. When i asked my wife if this true, she says yes it is and she cant bear to live with my brother under the same roof.From the sequence it was clear that when her mother failed in convincing me to leave my brother, she instigated her daughter to deliberately pick up a fight with my brother so he realises that he is not welcome there…Just to give a background, het mother has 2 sisters, and all the three sisters’s husbands have complicated relationships with their paternal families. My MIL wants to replicate the same model in my family and my brother is just a pawn in this game. Today, its my brother and six months later it would be my parents.Anyways, This fights was like 3 days back. Today i.e on 26.05.2017, i called my wife and said that my brother would not come with us to the new city but in addition her mother would also be unwelcome in my house and if she comes, i would be staying in a hotel during all this time. My wife told me that her mother would come whenever she feels like and i can not dictate where she is welcome or not. I can not understand these double standards??? In addition, she tells me that if ever i try to say anything against her mother, she would implicate me in false dowry/marital rape/ etc kind of case. And considering that her father is a very powerful bureaucrat, i know we wouldnt stand a chance against them…She swore that her mother has even consulted a lawyer in this case. Further, i work in a govt. job, and 2 days in lockup would lead to automatic suspension of my govt. job. Please note that mine is a very coveted govt. and i cant take that risk.As of now, i am clueless, if this fight is actually worth it and whether i can live with this monster for my entire life or whether i should end my life, so that everyone else is happy, but i cant do that too for the sake of my old parents…My head is continuously paining due to all the stress this is causing me, while my wife is partying with her friends and telling me that she is staying late in office due to office work pressure. Can you believe, every time she is saying she is stuck up late in office, her google map position tells me the address of some restaurent / disc/pub .PS:My wife messaged me before our fight today that she loves me( but cant stand my family) and i wonder if people do this to those they love…
If a military person receives a parking ticket that they did not do, but that their ex-spouse had done, what can they do to get the tickets out of their name and not have to pay the fine?
Why is the car still registered in the military members name?Since S/He did not change the registration S/He is still responsible for it. S/He need to pay the fine,Contact DMV and transfer the Car to the Spouse. (Note If there is a car loan on the car, and the loan responsibility was not transferred in the divorce, and signed off by the loan holder, The Member may be Co/Responsible and/or individually responsibility for the loan, but not for the registration).